50+ Fearless Feminine Power

Baby Boomer Woman-The Giving Trap-Is this You?

Have you ever given and given and given and then felt resentful, under-appreciated and taken for granted? Perhaps you consciously or subconsciously kept giving because you thought that you would get love, respect, a raise or something else for what you brought to the table. I mean, after all, you put your whole heart and soul into helping whoever received your gifts!  It just doesn’t seem fair, does it? Unfortunately, many “unselfish” women who do things constantly for others while neglecting their own needs, harbor resentment for the very people they serve. They become exhausted mentally, physically, and spiritually because there is not an equal exchange of energy.  They are expending all of their life energy but are not receiving and thus replenishing. Usually their resentment comes out in passive aggressive ways because they don’t want to rock the boat but are feeling frustrated by the lack of reciprocity. This can happen in business or personal relationships. Here is an example: Fran was working at a small business as an assistant to the owner. She helped him triple his business over the course of 7 years. Throughout her employment, her boss promised her that as he grew financially, so would she. Wanting to be of incredible value and earn what she deserved Fran kept taking on more and more and more. Her boss was doing less and less and Fran was becoming exhausted and resentful. And to add insult to injury, she hadn’t gotten a raise in 7 years while her boss was spending money like a drunken sailor on extravagant vacations, vacation homes, etc. Fran thought that if she...