What makes you really happy? This is a loaded question since what makes each of us happy is as unique to us as our DNA.
And yet we often fall into the trap of wanting things that “should” make us happy.
Here is what Shawn Anchor, author of The Happiness Advantage has to say:
“Our most commonly held formula for success is broken. Conventional wisdom holds that if we work hard we will be more successful, and if we are more successful, then we’ll be happy. If we can just find that great job, win that next promotion, lose those five pounds, happiness will follow. But recent discoveries in the field of positive psychology have shown that this formula is actually backward: Happiness fuels success, not the other way around. When we are positive, our brains become more engaged, creative, motivated, energetic, resilient, and productive at work. This isn’t just an empty mantra. This discovery has been repeatedly borne out by rigorous research in psychology and neuroscience, management studies, and the bottom lines of organizations around the globe.”
So how do we handle our unhappiness if we believe that our circumstances dictate it? We make a choice to change our way of “being”, of how we see our life. Once we do that-magic happens. We attract situations, people, opportunities to us.
The opposite is true for people who don’t choose to focus on happiness.
Have you ever been around negative people who literally suck the air out of a room? They actually repel people. If you want to be successful it is important to energetically magnetize people to you-not repel them, right? Negativity is actually harmful to the very person that spreads it around:
“Constantly scanning the world for the negative comes with a great cost. It undercuts our creativity, raises our stress levels, and lowers our motivation and ability to accomplish goals.” ―Shawn Anchor
Happy people attract and magnetize. Have you ever worked with a salesperson who was so happy, at ease and authentic that you bought something that you may not have? I know I have! And it wasn’t because the salesperson was slick or salesy or pushy. It was because he or she was innately confident and positive and happy in his or her own skin.
So how does one become happier?
Here are 3 ways to begin:
1) Make a Decision-you can actually decide to be happy by putting your focus on what you really like in every situation, person, life event, etc.
There is no situation, person or life event that doesn’t have something positive or a golden nugget embedded in it.
I remember an event that happened in my life when a mentor that I loved and admired betrayed me and I was devastated. But when I focused on all the gifts she gave me, it shifted my focus and I was grateful for what she brought to my life. That does not mean that I feel the same way about her but I choose to remember the happiness that I got from working with her and how she helped me grow and bring out my best.
So put on those rose colored glasses and make that choice!
2) Challenge What Happiness is to You– Stop buying into what is supposed to make you happy and start experiencing what really makes you happy.
I remember talking to a Realtor friend of mine who had a huge aha moment when he realized that making a ton of money was not what he thought it was. It did not bring him happiness as he thought it might. He realized that spending more time with his two young daughters was more important than working constantly.
Personally, I find a lot of happiness in things like spending time with my family, yoga and traveling.
The questions that we have to start asking ourselves is what really makes me happy and how can I make that a priority.
3) Attitude of Gratitude-I know that you have heard this before but it can’t be emphasized enough. It is so important to be grateful for what you already have. Make it a practice to focus on all the good that is in your life and you will find that your happiness expands.
Cheers to Your Happiness,
P.S. I am working on a program for the fall that will be geared towards helping Baby Boomer Women who are tired of playing small and want to start owning their magnificence-inside and out! We will address how to transform your life so that you will feel great, look great and own your power. Stay tuned……..
Marianne Cherico helps Baby Boomer women create a life filled with joy, passion and purpose so that they can create a Smokin’ Hot Second Half. She is proud to be a member of this generation of women who changed the world for women, presenting future generations with limitless opportunities to thrive and grow into lives that are meaningful and authentic. It is Marianne’s sincerest pleasure to help these women find their purpose, work through limiting and self- sabotaging beliefs and step into their own brand of magnificence. You can get a taste of Marianne’s teaching by downloading her free report “How to Plan for a Smokin’ Hot Second Half” on her website here: http://www.coachingbymarianne.com.